Saturday, May 8, 2010

I have the answer

Yes, I have the answer to everyone's health care problems -- insurance, "reform," Obamacare, you name it. I do believe it would make a great phone call to Rush Limbaugh's Open Line Friday, but alas and thank goodness, I have a job and I can't make phone calls during his airtime.

Every man must simply go, for his health care needs, to his local veterinarian. Animals and people can't be all that different physically, and think what will be obviated. Think of the health care you get for your cat or dog, successfully and unthinkingly. You go when your pet is sick or injured, you get him taken care of, you pay your bill, and that is all. No insurance, no co-pays, no nonsense about your employer somehow having to pay a share of it all beforehand. No mandated coverage for everybody's molting costs or nail trims or heartworm pills, therefore no mysteriously and constantly rising premiums. No liberals screaming about how American pets are "the sickest in the world," no gleefully contradictory and dutifully circulated myths about how uninsured cats and dogs have no access to care, but also overuse emergency rooms and so rack up charges that burden all the other cats and dogs. No panting (pardon the pun) after the wonderful health care system that French and Cuban pets enjoy.

Veterinarians who go into the business of treating people could make a killing at it. "Black market" doesn't begin to describe what could go on. I picture underground hospitals, massive complexes full of all the beeping machines and competent staff and blinking lights of a hospital, but hidden, speakeasy style, behind peephole doors behind secret entrances. That may be in our future anyway, but if vets are running the show they can at least hang out a shingle that looks like this -- and of course they could still see the other kind of animals, thus giving the whole thing the appearance of legality. Now that guv'mint is in charge, I look forward to accessing care as good as Martha's.

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